Teaching our children the value of moderation can sometimes feel like a Herculean task, especially in a world filled with excess and instant gratification. Yet, within the guiding principles of Stoic philosophy, we find a straightforward and effective framework for imparting this crucial lesson.
Think about Epictetus, who famously said, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” One of the first steps in teaching moderation is to help our children recognize the difference between what they can and cannot control. For example, they can’t control how many toys or snacks are available at a friend’s house, but they can control how many they choose to have. A sense of control is empowering and serves as a foundational block for understanding moderation.
This Stoic teaching also helps children grasp that happiness doesn’t stem from externalities like toys, video games, or even sugary treats. It comes from within. Help them understand that it’s not about denying oneself pleasures but rather about enjoying them in a way that is sustainable and doesn’t hinder well-being. Eating one cookie is enjoyable, but eating the whole box in one sitting? Not so much. Moderation in enjoying life’s pleasures allows them to remain pleasures, rather than becoming sources of discomfort or regret.
Then there’s the concept of virtue, which Stoicism places at the pinnacle of human achievement. Marcus Aurelius advised, “Do every act of your life as though it were the very last act of your life.” In kid-friendly terms, this could be interpreted as making choices you’ll be proud of later. By internalizing this message, your child may think twice before indulging in behaviors of excess. They’ll understand that true fulfillment comes from making balanced choices that stand the test of time, not just choices that feel good in the moment.
Children, especially those in elementary school, live very much in the present. The Stoic practice of mindfulness can help them understand moderation by making them aware of their current choices and future consequences. Teach them to pause and think before they act. Is taking that extra piece of candy worth the stomachache later? Will playing video games all day really make them happier than a balanced day that also includes outdoor play and reading?
Finally, consider introducing the Stoic idea of negative visualization. Without overwhelming them, help your child imagine the possible consequences of excess. What would happen if they watched TV all day, every day? They might miss out on making friends, learning new skills, or the simple joys of running around outside. This exercise in foresight can make the abstract concept of moderation more tangible.
Through the wisdom of Stoicism, you can provide your child with practical tools that foster a balanced, happy life. You’ll equip them to make thoughtful decisions, laying the groundwork for the kind of adulthood that is rich in substance, rather than simply in possessions or momentary pleasures. And isn’t that what we all want for our children?
