Modeling good decision-making for your elementary school-aged child doesn’t just mean telling them what choices to make; it involves embodying the principles you want them to adopt. And what better framework to guide this process than Stoic philosophy? Stoicism teaches us that wisdom, courage, justice, and self-control are the four cardinal virtues that guide sound decision-making. Here’s how you can use these principles to be a role model for your child.
Let’s start with wisdom, which is the root of all good decisions. Wisdom isn’t just about knowing a lot; it’s about applying that knowledge appropriately. You can model this by showing your child how you handle difficult situations. Let’s say your family pet has been causing problems—digging up the garden, let’s assume. Instead of reacting impulsively and giving the pet away, you could take time to consider what’s best for everyone. You might consult experts, read up on pet behavior, or consider other interventions. By deliberating and not acting out of frustration or anger, you show your child that decisions should be made after thoughtful consideration.
Next, there’s courage. Now, courage doesn’t mean you have to go slay dragons or perform daring acts of bravery. It could simply mean standing up for what’s right or stepping out of your comfort zone. If you have a contentious relationship with a neighbor and it’s affecting the kids, it might be easier to just avoid the issue. But taking the courageous step of initiating a conversation to mend fences not only solves the problem but also models bravery and problem-solving for your child.
Justice is the third pillar of Stoic decision-making. This virtue emphasizes fairness, equality, and doing what’s right for the greater good. So, if your child sees you making a decision that benefits not just you or them, but also the community as a whole, they’ll learn the importance of considering the broader impact of their actions. This could be as simple as choosing to buy products that are ethically made or spending your Saturday volunteering at a local shelter.
Last but not least, there’s self-control. This is where you show your child that desires and impulses shouldn’t dictate decisions. This could manifest in various aspects of life—from financial choices to dietary habits. If you’re out shopping and your child sees you bypass some needless but tempting purchase, explain that you’re saving for something more important. Your restraint will demonstrate that immediate gratification isn’t the path to long-term happiness or stability.
When you live by the Stoic virtues of wisdom, courage, justice, and self-control, your child will naturally absorb these values. You won’t need to give long lectures or sit them down for “serious talks.” Your actions will speak volumes, and that’s the most powerful lesson you could ever impart. So, go ahead, be that role model. Your child, and the adult they become, will thank you.
